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Chaudhry SJ, et al. Thanking, apologizing, bragging, and blaming: Responsibility exchange theory and the currency of communication. DOI: Research shows that apologies releases us from the guilt of having wronged someone and it restores a sense of trust between the two parties. Kim PH, et al. It can also help us save face, Schniter E, et al. Building and rebuilding trust with promises and apologies.
Tabak BA, et al.SPIN THE BOTTLE
Conciliatory gestures facilitate forgiveness and feelings of friendship by making transgressors appear more agreeable. My apologies! Unfortunately, some older research has shown that this is especially true for women.
Schumann K, et al. Why women apologize more than men: gender differences in thresholds for perceiving offensive behavior. Whatever the situation, unnecessary self-criticism may be to blame, says Juliana Breines, PhD, an assistant professor of psychology at University of Rhode Island.
The consequence? If you can relate, listen up: There are absolutely better ways to dispel discomfort, remain likeable to other people, and express empathy in lieu of these two words.
Next time you find yourself about to apologize for these seven things, stop. When we apologize for feeling hurt, or even passionate about something, we minimize ourselves in a misguided attempt to protect others. Unless you roll into the office in sweatpants and a food-stained T-shirt or flagrantly flout the dress code required of a certain situation, attempting to atone for who you are and how you decided to style your hair today is positively uncalled for.
People vary in the amount of personal space they need to get through the day. People experiencing anxiety, for instance, may need more than others. We invalidate ourselves when we apologize for posing a question. Some of us may do so to protect our egos, fearing that a peer or colleague will roll their eyes or snicker at our lack of knowledge.
If someone judges you for asking, that could be a projection of his or her own insecurities.
Same goes for saying sorry to someone who bumps into you in a store or on the sidewalk. Not true and not cool. We do this because we feel bad for the other person, Tannen explains. But studies do show that, in some cases, withholding apologies can be empowering.
Okimoto TG, et al. Refusing to apologize can have psychological benefits and we issue no mea culpa for this research finding. If not, no sorry necessary.
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We investigate. Sadness isn't something to be avoided. It's best to embrace it as part of growth — but what are the best ways to process it? We untangle it. Your feelings. Your appearance. Asking a question. Not responding immediately to a text, call, or. Bottom line. Read this next. Hold Up. Why Not Everyone Is Worth Forgiving People often think that to move on from a bad situation or person, you need to forgive and forget.Im sorry things got out of hand
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